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Dec. 20th, 2009

Today, 3rd day in the Islamic calendar

I came online at 8am this morning with a specific intention to jot down my thoughts about the talk I attended last night by Dr Abdullah Quick at NTUC Auditorium, the talk was on the common message of peace through prophet Jesus & Muhammad. I was invited by a very dear friend of mine, who’s a Muslim and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to go and listen what the Muslims have to say. After all, I’ve always been fascinated by the differences in religions and the function of a religion.

 

To be honest and no offense intended, half way through the drawling opening prayer, I thought I was going to fall asleep unintentionally for the first time in my life. It is not so much what was read than how it was read that makes me feel that way. Anyway, the Qur’an prayers were written in Abrabic by ancient Muslims who had a flair for rhythmic poetry, that’s why I felt a little like my senses were shutting down on me.

 

But 5mins into Dr Abdullah’s speech I sat right up, listening in rapture. Thankfully, he didn’t go on much with evidences in the Qur’an. I felt yesterday’s talk was more about how we can bring back peace in general if we do corrective actions now through treating others well, sharing what we have with the less fortunate, living within our physical means (not monetary) and I can’t remember what the forth one was.

 

By living within our physical means he meant we should really cut down on things we are over consuming and revert back to simplistic lifestyle. And he is right, it doesn’t take a genius to know that we are over consuming and we are not even caring about what the world is going to be like 3 generations down. We eat fast food cos it taste good and its fast. We drive because it’s convenient. We cut down forest because we need space. It really doesn’t take a religious leader, someone great or super smart to know (cos it is all in the newspaper) that we are going to be the cause of our own destruction because we want what we want, NOW.

 

Ok, I’m not going to jot down every salient point Dr Abdullah mentioned, but rather I’d jot down things that he talked about which matters to me and my thoughts on it.

 

He mentioned that our faith in our religion should be reflected by our actions and our relationship with other beings. It made sense to me, as it occurred to me recently that I often pray (and wish) I were a better person yet it is just that, prayers (and wishes). I never really practice to be a better person, never made an effort until recently. I realised that all the prayers (and wishes) in the world is not going make things happen magically if we do not personally put in effort to make those things happen. It made sense to me and it is precisely the reason why I choose not to have a religion because I feel that mostly we do and work for things through our own effort and desire for things we want, and we pray (or rather hope & wish in my case since there no one I pray to) just to leave our extreme emotions/desire somewhere else. That somewhere else, I feel, is not God but our conscience, a reassurance to ourselves that we have done what we can and we can now only leave everything else to situational circumstances.

 

He mentioned that Prophets were sent to the world hence the similarities amongst most major religions like the Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. I like the idea of that, but if it is true that all the prophets were sent by God with a common message yet it resulted in divided faiths and religions then perhaps all these religions are divided not by disloyalty but the culture/upbringing/etc of the prophets themselves.

 

He also mentioned that religions should not be made or interpreted to suit us. In a way, I totally agree with him because unity amongst fellow human beings is important for harmony and peace, except that I do not believe in blind faith – believing everything that is fed to you. That is much more dangerous than speaking without thinking because such absolute faith borders on fanaticism and close-mindedness towards reason which doesn’t coincide with a person’s faith, which may result in extreme behaviours.

 

But it has been done, hence the result is religious denominations. The most well known example would be Christianity and its denominations like the Catholics, Orthodox, Protestants and Methodist to name a few. Despite having differing practises, such denominations share a fundament essence of Christianity. Since the essence is the same, only the practise is different which resulted in the division, then the true difference would be how the same religion is being adapted to the different societies/cultural so that people would be able to accept it as a religion for them. So in a way, it still serves the purpose of uniting people. Except that these people are divided not because of their differing believes but because of their different background, society and culture, which are being encouraged and further enforced by the practise of each denomination.

 

If we try to disassemble and compare Islam, Christianity and Judaism, there are so many similarities that I cannot help but question if perhaps they, too, are the result of religious denomination. 

 

So I think if the believers can all just take a step back and accept that they all fundamentally believe in the same thing (love for the gracious God and treating others with kindness and fairness) and ignore the differing practises, perhaps there will be acceptance and peace amongst the believers.

 

Also, an interesting question was brought up during the Q and A session. Someone questioned what if everything that is happening now is predestined and would god give us a miracle by resolving and restoring the global warming situation to an acceptable level.

 

I love the answer which was given. Dr Abdullah said that, despite the fact the God is all that is gracious and merciful, we have a choice in our own actions and we are to bear the consequence of our own actions, and unfortunately so would the rest of the people who are innocent of any wrong doing.

 

It is a balance of the graciousness and mercy of God who provide for us, and our own actions. And we, the lot of us, have chosen to make use of all the resources available right now and thereby depriving our future generations of what is rightfully theirs. Therefore we should try to live within our physical means, don’t over eat or over use or over waste.

 

Despite everything, still I do question the existence of God, in general. What is God but a make-believe by humans to entrust our responsibilities, to a supposed higher being? And a religion created to bring comfort to human beings and to guide them to do what is correct and socially responsible?

Dec. 14th, 2009

Mas

By Nelly Furtado


Boston

By Augustana


Talented musicians need people like me to appreciate their brilliance. I’ve never had it in me to create something from scratch and make it beautiful, and maybe it is because it is something that I can’t do that I am able to appreciate better.


Replay

By Sean Kingston


Then on the other hand there songs you listen to on repeat mode and after you’re through with your obsession with that song, you hope that you’d never ever have to listen to it again, like a relationship with a hot guy/girl gone wrong.


Anyway, just some updates on how my week has gone. I went to the dental last Thursday. I’m really looking forward to correct the alignment of my jaws. And tomorrow I’ll be going for SIM’s course orientation. I seriously hope there won’t be any lame ass get-to-know-you-bonding sessions.

Dec. 6th, 2009

They asked me how I knew

My true love was true…


They say someday you’ll find all who love are blind.


I gaily laugh to think they doubt my love.

Yet today my love has flown away.


(With) Tears I cannot hide

So I smile and say, “When a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes.”


Just some updates


I started working last week. I feel really broke to the point I’m pinching each penny as it passes from my hand. Damn. Note that I’m only stating my feelings and not the actual state of my financial situation.


Anyway, work’s great. Everyone’s really friendly and informal. It is a refreshing change from stifling corporate firms.


Last Monday, I bought another guinea pig! It was love at first sight, honest! She is a gorgeous ink black, her eyes just totally blend in, it is really hard to look in her eyes cos first you have to find it under her mop of long fur! J Naming her Lucy.


Hmmm… sometimes you feel so much your tummy aches, it feels as if someone stuck their fist into your stomach and gives it a tight squeeze. Your heart becomes heavy making it difficult to breathe, your throat feels tight yet swollen, your nose gets stuffy and your eyes get wet. Oh well…



Nov. 24th, 2009

Life’s good

Yes, despite the fact that my mum had a bad case of food poisoning and thereby scary me shitless; that I’m having a bad cough and coughing my lungs out; and that I’m broke and jobless. Life is good, BECAUSE I just got my letter of offer for SIM/RMIT Economics and Finance. Finally, I feel like something is happening! Something good is waiting round the corner for me, this feeling inside, it feels strangely like hope.

Sometimes, you have to break away from your comfort zone; break free, to become the person you have the potential to become.

I had a thought about elitism the other day, what a noble lie it is.

School starts 11 Jan 2010. Yippee!!

Nov. 19th, 2009

I had a dream

I just woke up from a war. Can you imagine that? It is such a bizarre dream. I remember hiding in a room with a group of familiar people, hoping to evade capture and avoid facing a horrendous death. But alas, we were discovered and forced out of the building to a general area where we will be shot in public. I managed to escape into another build with a girlfriend, but not everyone was quick enough.


I also remember holding a guy’s hand, I think in my dream he was my gentle hero of a boyfriend. I can’t remember how he looks like now or what his name was, I only remember loving him and the painful denial that he was shot dead. My only regret is waking up forgetting, though to remain in the dream is to be living in a nightmare. When I woke up, I escaped.


But, I was thinking what if when we are dreaming, we are in fact consciously aware that we are living another reality in another dimension, and has nothing at all to do with creative subconscious imaginings? If there’s such a thing as parallel universe and a thing such as a soul that’s in all of us, then perhaps what we dream about is actually happening to us, our identical soul, somewhere in this world or in another similar universe.


And what if your soul mate, the one you are meant to be with, is already dead? Would your soul be aware of that and die a little each day without you being consciously aware of it?


And what if when we die we still ‘live’? It is proven that when we are dead, our body and system shuts down, but what if we remain consciously aware of what is going on, we can still perceive impressions: hearing, smelling, feeling and understanding until we slowly fade into nothingness?


I suppose I am not a believer of heaven and hell, I believe that everything eventually fades into nothingness. But if we are still able to perceive all that is going on around us after we die, it could be heaven or it could be hell. When people think you are dead, they are freer with their words and actions, and you’ll know then if you’re truly loved or hated by people. And when you’re cremated or buried you can still feel, either the heat or to be eaten up by bugs and all.


Alright, that’s all.

Nov. 11th, 2009

Random updates

Hmm. Just some random updates on what marked my past few days.

I finally got round to doing a couple of things.

 
One of which was sending my chopped off hair to ‘Locks of Love’ to US. Think it has been at least 4 months, gross. I really didn’t mean to keep it for sooo long, glad I finally got round to sending it off to do some good. Anyway, I didn’t regret chopping off my waist kissing hair. In a way, I find my hair’s current length more ME than my long hair ever was.


Oh right, almost forgot I finally got round to getting the test date for my driving! 23 Feb 2010!!


I’m sure I did lots of other interesting stuff but right now, I’m too tired and distracted to think of any.

 

Nov. 7th, 2009

Undermine

Awhile ago, a friend asked me how exactly does one undermines the other.

 

I just came across a great example.

 

Cambodia has appointed former Prime Minister of Thailand, Thaksin Shinawatra, as an economics adviser knowing that Thaksin, who is on a self-imposed exiled has been accused, convicted and sentenced by the Supreme Court of Thailand. Therefore, we can say that Cambodia has undermined the authority of Thailand’s Supreme Court.

 

To worsen the situation, I just read from TimesOnline, Cambodia had stated that it would reject Thailand’s request to extradite Thaksin should he be in Cambodia.

 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6904000.ece

 

Hmmm… Was discussing with my uncle about this during dinner today, he was telling me how the situation in Thailand is divided to North, South, East and West. The government has a strong hold in the South, yet people are brutally killed there every day.

 

Anyway, about Thaksin, he had during his leadership tried to improve on the poverty situation in Thailand and he has done great things to improve it. And since Thailand is a developing country, he has a lot of supporters in the people of Thailand.

 

I wish I had a richer and fuller knowledge on politics and history, so I can say more on this. It is all very, very interesting and mind stimulating. I think it is time I read up more and pay attention to what it is going on around the world.
 

Soul a fucking weary

Afternoons really get to me. I love Mornings and Nights, but I can really live without Afternoons.

 

Finally got my ass out of the house and I feel so good, not because everything was great but because it wasn’t. To me that’s living, and it gives me something to blog about!

 

I went for an interview with my cousin today. The interviewer kept us waiting for AN HOUR, then reveal to us what kind of job it is. It is the kind of job whereby they call it campaigning but in fact they just want you to go round asking people for money. That, I cannot do.

 

Firstly, I hate it when people approach me asking for money or donations. I’ve gotten so sick of it that I find myself turning away from people before they speak to me and that is definitely NOT me. I love it when people come up to me for little things such as asking for time or directions, but not money for donations for organisations I have no faith in or never heard of.

 

Secondly, I can’t imagine myself working for something even I can’t believe in. That will be hypocrisy and going against my beliefs!

 

Thirdly, I like to know that when I’m doing something good, I’m doing it without any external rewards. I like to know when I’m contributing to a good cause, people ACUTALLY benefit from it. So, on the very long and relaxing bus ride home, I thought of one cause that I’d like to support and start.

 

It will be called, adopt an elderly a day. It will be targeted at teenagers, especially those who have lots of excess time with nothing much to do. By involving youths, it will encourage their social responsibilities and help to bring the widening age gap closer. By ‘a day’, we are trying to encourage people to give this project a try, rather than committing to something they are not sure can keep. And we hope that after one try they will come back on their own, as that will ensure their willingness to help those elderly.

 

This is how it works: The youths will pick up whichever elderly assign to them and accompany them to and fro the hospital for their medical check- ups. Whether or not the elderly wants the volunteer to accompany them to see the doctor, it will be at the discretion of the elderly.

 

Those elderly without families will be our priority. And those elderly who has difficulties walking will either be fetched in a car by a volunteer or a taxi, while those who can walk will take a bus with a volunteer accompanying.

 

Hmm... And at this point, I foresee many issues such as finance for those youths, cars, waiting time, volunteers last min pulling out etc. Alright, I’ll leave that till next time. I’m excited about writing the report, will do some research in the meantime.

 

Anyway all that mumbo jumbo aside, sometimes I find myself wanting to tell some people I love them but there seem to be too many things between us that the words refuse to come. And that makes me feel like crying cos it is so sad and it is breaking my heart to love and not know how to express how I feel. If you think this is about a guy, you’re wrong. Ok, maybe you’re right, that guy’s my dad.

 

OK, one last thing, Ammar just made my day. J

 

Nov. 5th, 2009

Streets of London

For one more forgotten hero
And a world that doesn't care

 

I read a forwarded email today which got me thinking a bit. It is about the Nobel Peace Prize award and there were many criticism on selection of the winners.

 

One of the nominees last year was Irena Sendler, who recently passed on, she risked her life and eventually had both her legs broken to save thousands of Jewish kids from the Nazi and she was nominated for the award last year but didn’t win it. Instead Al Gore won for a slide show he did on global warming.

 

It seems really unfair to me. One risked her life to save kids, the other all talk not much deed.

 

Yet, essentially, this is an award to promote peace and resolve conflicts and it has been decades since the WWII. I mean no disrespect but I guess the judges were looking for a candidate who has been involve to bring peace and resolve conflict to the current world that we are living in rather than war heros of a time gone by.

My deepest respect for Irena Sendler, a woman of great courage and selflessness.

 

Ps. Can you believe Adolf Hitler was nominated??? In 1939!

 

Too sexy

Ok, I know I’ve said it before but Gerard Butler is really sexy. I’d totally pounce, grab, claw, lick, and then grab some more, ok think I’m getting carried away, if he ever were to stand within 100m radius. Sigh. Sweet dreams are made like him.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRiqaKaHQho&feature=related

 

He’s definitely a ladies’ man and a men’s man. Sigh. I just wish he were MY man.

 

Every show I’ve caught him in, he just consistently performed memorably brilliant. Phantom of the Opera. Lara Croft Tomb Raider. 300. PS, I Love you. The Ugly Truth. Gamer. And I’m gonna catch butterfly on a wheel very soon. Truly, he is a walking, breathing talent.


 

Nov. 3rd, 2009

Not exactly just another week

Last week, I was complaining about how slow the week was moving but thankfully, it picked up pace from Thursday onwards. I spent some time with my cousin, Iris, and my Grandma. It’s been a long time, and I must say it was really good spending some quality time with them. Initially, I was a little apprehensive about spending time with my grandma, worried about feeling awkward. I had no idea what to talk to her about, but thankfully it wasn’t awkward. I miss her without even knowing it, seeing her just brought a gush of emotions close to love welling inside of me.

 

Well, the thing about family and relatives is that they have the ability to drag out your insecurities and magnify and sometimes play with them, and sometimes for awhile you’d forget you’re an adult and you have achievements beyond their imaginations. You simply become what you are in their eyes, the little girl with all her unlovable flaws. Shit, any minutes I’ll be throwing a pity-party for one. The thing I want to say is that, I’m so damn sick of not standing up for myself. People can be so malicious with words as their weapon. And sometimes without meaning to, they hurt you.

 

Anyway, on Saturday, I celebrated my very first Halloween. It was fun! Stayed over at Sam’s.

 

   
Prowling around seeking our prey!


The whole halloween crew.
 

Yes, I can

Anything you can do,

I can do it better.

I can do anything better than you.

 

I was just thinking, before I attempt to blog this entry, which thought cruising through my mind should I or should I not pen down. Then, I thought, Aiya, fuck it la, this is MY blog so I should be able to talk about anything without censorship, even if it may offend certain people’s sensibility. Not happy then fuck off la.

 

So, I’ve decided I really want to talk about myself and some of my concerns which you healthy and normal people, who think you’re fat, wouldn’t understand. I wanna talk about being underweight and skinny. I honestly hated it when people tell me how skinny/thin I am. Worse, they sometimes think I’m so lucky. You won’t think so when buying clothes is difficult cos you can’t find anything that fits you just right. Just like how you don’t call a fat person fat in their face, I think you should try to refrain from telling skinny/thin people they are skinny/thin, get it?

 

I just found a website that could help you achieve your ideal weight with the right diet and exercise. See below.

 

http://nutrition.about.com/od/changeyourdiet/a/calguide.htm

 

But, I already know what my problem is. I have a very bad habit of skipping meals, and it is not for the reason you think it is. I’m not worried about getting fat. I skip meals cos… I’m simply too lazy to look for food or prepare them. In my opinion, it is too much hassle.

 

So from today onwards, I strive to put in an effort to have my three meals and two snacks, without skipping them. And do a 30mins session of stretching. I love stretchings.

 

Oct. 27th, 2009

Tell me


How does it feel to know someone loves you? How does it feel to know someone adores you and worships the ground you walk on?

 

Oct. 22nd, 2009

Sorry, blame it on me

Actually there’s nothing in particular I want to apologise right now. Wait, I don’t mean I have nothing to apologise for and I most certainly don’t mean I have no regrets. I just simply don’t want to get into all those sticky stuff right now; it may jolly well take days before I’m through apologising, or even more.

 

 Was just thinking, it must have taken Akon a lot of patience and courage to sit down and write this song of his.

 

Hmmm…

 

What have I been up to lately? How about I leave the rest of the entry blank? Dash it, I just want to vent about how unproductive I have been the past few days! I’ve been lazing around so much I’m surprise I don’t yet have bedsores. Thankfully, I’ve a good reason to be out today! Meeting my bestie for lunch, hang out then dinner! J

 

Anyway, I was out for a bit yesterday. Was at Watsons and I finally got round to buying myself the cutest panty-liner from Moxie. It looks really feminine and pretty.


 

Oct. 19th, 2009

You may & I may

You may ask me questions about me

I may answer you, or I may not

I may give you the truth, or I may lie

I may even give you a half truth

 

You may wish to question my friends about me

I wish my friends would stare down their nose at you,

I wish they would ask you, “Why do you want to know?”

I wish they would tell you, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

 

So that, when

You ask me questions about me.

 

~

 

Scorn not his simplicity

 

By far the most impactful song I’ve ever come across. I tear the first time I heard this song sung by Sinead O’Connor.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgHwhf-168I

 

Oct. 8th, 2009

Waiting in Vain

by Annie Lennox

 

*Ok, this is yet another Annie Lennox entry, I am just so into her right now.

 

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy

My heart said follow through,

But I know now

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wxb_EQlkx7o&feature=channel

 

This song is written so I could sing it in the middle of the night when thoughts start drifting toward V. Though I can safely say I’m over him. Yes, I am. But the words ring so true, I cannot help thinking about the time when I wouldn’t have mind waiting in vain, waiting for my turn, for his love is my relief. Gosh, there had been a time when I was foolish and naïve.

 

Anyway, here’s another song by A.L. with beautiful lyrics.

 

Love song for a Vampire

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhG8zC4npsE&feature=channel

 

The song is so hauntingly beautiful, it makes you yearn for a love so incredibly fragile yet all consuming.

 

Oh, loneliness. Oh, hopelessness.

To search the ends of time

For there is in all the world

No greater love than mine.

 

A.L. wrote this song for the movie Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Just read the synopsis of the movie, it is really touching, bittersweet, sad and what-have-you, and it has just gotten into my list of must watch.

 

Annie is really so bloody god blessedly talented.

 

I really, really wish I can soak her up and absorb her, so that she would always be a part of me.

 

Oct. 7th, 2009

High on Annie Lennox

Sweet dreams (are made of this)

 

Some of them want to use you,

Some of them want to get use by you.

Some of them want to abuse you,

Some of them want to be abused.

 

I meant to blog about watching Gamer the other day, in case you’re wondering, the above song was sang by Annie Lennox and it was the show’s theme song, which I find really apt. It is definitely one of best movies I’ve caught this year and there’s a reason it’s been classified under M18. It was a bloody gory show with lots of nude scenes in between. And Gerard Butler was so damn good in it! Gerard Butler is a natural.

 

Some people never say the words

 

I love you…

It’s not their style to be so bold but like a child, I’m longing to be told.

 

If something goes wrong, I’ll be first to admit it.

 

But if something goes right, well it’s likely to lose me, to confuse me, because it’s such an unusual sight.

Oh I can’t get use to something so right,

Something so right

 

Annie Lennox has both style & talent. In a strange way, she reminds me of
P!nk.

 

I wish I can soak her up.

 

 

Sep. 28th, 2009

We can’t leave a trace

I was listening to Gold 90.5fm this morning when ‘Secret Lovers’ by Atlantic Stars came on. I know I’ve previously gone on and on and on about how we should all stick to those we have chosen to commit ourselves to, and never cheat, but this song really got to me. The music is fantastic and lyrics powerful, it makes me feel that maybe, just maybe, it is possible that people who cheat are motivate by something other than their own selfishness. It is such a beautiful song for something as sordid as adultery.

 

Amazing, isn’t it? How perceptions can change so easily. That’s probably why some smart aleck came up with the term, never say never. I’m not saying it is ok now to cheat; just that perhaps there are some exceptions. But that doesn’t make it right anyway, so where does that leave us? Perhaps sometimes people don’t seek forgiveness as much as they do understanding. Because, I always feel that with understanding comes a certain degree of acceptance. And no matter who we are, where we come from acceptance matters, even when we try to tell ourselves how it shouldn’t.

 

Anyway, come to think of it, I find it strange, the way I keep bringing up adultery/cheating lately, I’m not sure if it is the people around me, the movies I’ve been watching, or the songs I’ve been listening to. I need to come to terms with the fact that this is not a perfect world AND people around the world cheat everyday! It matters not whether it is for love or for reasons only they know, people just do! Now, Joan, get over it!

 

P.s. I LOVE Gerard Butler. As in I really do. Seriously.

 

 

Sep. 22nd, 2009

Bored out of my mind

I’m feeling terribly restless and bored right now. Was just thinking what I could do, and I thought blogging was just the thing to do! Forgive my enthusiasm; I am THAT excited to have something to occupy my day.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I’ve been having strange and random thoughts which I’m gonna list down in this entry… Hold on, grabbing my iTouch to check what are those thoughts I’ve noted down.

 

Thought number one

 

This is for Sam whom I had trouble articulating my thoughts on why we should all be vegetarians the other day. Sam, I’m gonna try again.

 

This is why we should all be vegetarians:

 

One patch of land can feed 1,000 people for a lifetime. The same patch of land can only feed 100 cows. The 100 cows can only feed 200 people for a lifetime. So the remaining 800 people are left starving.

 

So, ideally if we were all vegetarians, there will be enough food to go around. Unfortunately, that’s only an ideal.  But if we do our best, we know we have tried.

 

Thought number two

 

Ok, here’s a strange but philosophical one.

 

It is about civilisation, society, the world we live in. In this orderly, proper world, we pretend that we are all normal cordial human-beings, with no secrets or flaws or insanity. Or at least, we normal people would like to think, crazy things only happens to celebrities and criminals, but not to normal people. But personally, I think we are all trying to hide, our flaws and our bouts of insanity.

 

Was just thinking why we are so shy with our naked body. I sometimes think that animals are better at controlling themselves then the person next to you. Believe me, if you’re naked right now, and the person beside you is a male stranger, he’d be staring with his eyes popped out and probably tongue lolling out, too. In short, everyone will be shocked and some even indignant at such a ‘vulgar’ display. Yet perversely, it is alright to search for porn in secret. Why? What does it mean to be civilised?

 

To the animals, it is so natural to be naked, free and liberating. They wouldn’t have stared at their counter parts just because they are naked. Yet, in our world, we conceal our flesh for fear of being attacked and also to prevent temptation. I’m not just speaking of the female population, trust me, in this era of equality between the sexes, men are just as vulnerable to attacks. Why do we have to hide and conceal in order to prevent all these unwanted situations if people are as civilised as we believed?

 

We are just a pretentious lot who think ourselves above everything and everyone else.

 

Well, I guess, we could all try walking around naked for a century or two, we might then be able to achieve what the animals have long ago established.

 

Thought number three

 

Marriage, I wondered, who came up with it, if it were a man or a woman. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say the creator is a male. It is such a male thing to hold and possess, which is what marriage is about in time past, possession of a wife to ensure that their heir is theirs. In return, married women has protection and shelter from her husband. But, women seem to have no say in the past, let alone be allowed to introduce such a powerful tool of union and order.

 

I got the quote below from Wikipedia,

 

"In almost all societies, access to women is institutionalized in some way so as to moderate the intensity of this competition."... between males.

 

I sometimes wonder why people marry in this age when such traditional reasons no longer seems to be the greatest motivation. Majority of men don’t need heirs, Average Joes don’t have much of a legacy to pass on to an heir. Women can provide for themselves.

 

You don’t have to love someone to marry them; likewise you don’t have to marry them just because you love them. So why do most people still marry? The security of having someone? And why do married people still commit adultery if they marry to be with someone exclusively?

 

Marriage, I think, is such a complicated affair.

 

Thought number four

 

For the past few years, I’ve been trying to discover who I am and what I’m comfortable with. It has been a long and tiring and unsatisfying endeavour.

 

Today, I came across a very, very good quote which I shall strive to live by from now onwards.

 

“Life isn’t about finding yourself.

Life is about creating yourself.”

George Bernard Shaw

 

Find the courage to be the person you know you can be, the person you want to be.

 

 

Sep. 17th, 2009

Through the years


By Kenny Rogers

 

I was packing my room, again, today. My room seems to be in a perpetual state of messiness. Anyway, I went through a lot of old scribbled notes containing my half bucket wisdoms and thoughts. Here is one about growing up which I quite like:

 

Packing away the last trance of adolescence and all its lovely impossible dreams.

 

Think I jotted that down after Poly, when I realise that with my grades it seemed unlikely that I’ll be going to any local Law School and the future suddenly seems so very bleak. Thoughts of becoming a lawyer, a psychiatrist went poof. I guess I still could pursue these lovely dreams but only overseas, which I am reluctant to do so at this point in my life cos I’m not ready to leave my nest yet. For now, I guess I’ll make do with Econs and Finance at SIM/RMIT.

 

Few years from now, I could be studying and practicing in Australia, and if that’s what I eventually decide to do, I think I may choose to remain there, or at least work there for a decade.

 

: )

 

On Tuesday

 

I caught Juno. I loved it. It’s a great show and it’s the first show which I actually like it partly for its sound tracks. Great music, my top three favourite:

 

All I want is you

I’m sticking with you

Anyone else but you

 

Then met up with Agnes, my Bestie.

 

Then met up with Kan for dinner before heading to the Airport to send Hany off or rather back to UK, where she’s studying Law at Liverpool.

 

On Monday

 

I met up with my boss and colleague. We ate and we talked and I realise how ignorant I am of world affairs or culture or geography! Which is terribly sad. When they were discussing about places in Europe and then who the Prime Minister of Australia was, I threw up Gordon Brown’s name, who in fact is the PM of UK. I know that. I cringed inside after that. But hey! Now I know who the PM of Australia is, it’s Kevin Rudd!

 

Its ok, I tell myself. I’m female and man only expect me to be half as smart and I’m brilliant.

 

Ah, get over it already.

 

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